Marriage Secrets From Couples Married 25 Years or More

Keep the Peace

The Couple: Donna Segal and Burt Podbere, Los Altos, California

Married: 25 years   

Burt’s Advice: “Try not to fight like high schoolers—don’t play games, give the silent treatment, argue over the same things over and over, or bring up past issues in every subsequent fight. If you have children, you want to set a good example of how you’d like them to act in their future relationships. You’re teaching if you show love and affection, you’ll get it in return.”

Donna’s Advice: “Never be a ‘counter’—this means don’t get petty about things like, ‘I emptied the dishwasher the last three times or I changed the last six diapers’. Because life is never fair and if you’re always counting to be ‘even’ you’ll never be happy. People have different tasks in a marriage—I may have wiped more bottoms and unloaded more dishes, but my spouse completed numerous other chores as well.”

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